I’ll take a cup of quackamoly!

For some folks, there are chiropractors and guacamole. Around here?  Quackpractors and quackamoly.  Just a quirk of ours.  This bunch thinks it’s a riot to say those words.  Come to think of it…the boy’s football coach pronounced them the same way.  Wonder what that says about us? 

Bear in mind, this was the same man who would tell his football players as they were sprawled out in the middle of field in pain, “You better be hurt if I had to walk all the way out here!” and “You’re so slow you couldn’t catch a cold in a month.” or “You’re slower than my grandmother…and she’s dead.” or “We might not be big but we’re slow.” or ” You hit like an old washer-woman.”…I could go on.  Slaton had a kazillion “sayings” to fit any occasion.  Or not.  He was not always politically correct.  Thank goodness!

Back to the guacamole…that IS what we were talking about?  So when I feel like the world is ending and we’re doomed and everything that could possibly be wrong is wrong and what’s the point…I fix a nice big bowl of guacamole and dive in.  Head first.  With tortilla chips in hand, of course.

Here’s how I fix the green stuff aka unmentionable titles dubbed by my sons at age 4…I’ll spare you…

3 ripe avocadoes…not black and squishy when you gently squeeze it but still greenish and firm.  But not too firm. It’s an art.

1/2 fresh tomato, chopped up finely…yes, right out of the garden is the ONLY way to make this.  But I have been known to do the unthinkable and buy one.  Or in a tight spot in the middle of the winter, use some salsa.  Not as good, but it works.

Teeny tiny slivers of minced onion, preferably a sweet, yellow, around 1/2 tablespoon.  I don’t like huge chunks of onion in it and you need just a little to zap the avocados.

Lemon juice, around 1 tablespoon, preferably a fresh lemon or lime.  Bottled works too, in the middle of winter.

Chili powder, about 1/2 teaspoon

Mayonnaise, not Miracle WHIP…MAYO.  The real stuff altho you can use the low fat stuff…about 1/4 cup

Salt and pepper

Cut the avocados in half, lengthwise, twist to separate.  Tap the seed with your knife so that it lodges in the seed and twist it out.  Take a tablespoon and scoop the meat out.  That way you don’t waste any of it!

Place the avocado meat in a bowl and squish it up with a pastry blender.  I’ve tried other methods but this works best for me…you get a good blend of chunky and smooth that way!

Squeeze the lemon juice on top of the avocado and add the salt, pepper, chili powder, onions and mayo.  Blend well and cover.  Refrigerate for at least  a couple of hours.  This gives all of the ingredients time to meld and blend…I’ve waited a long time to use those terms like the fancy schmancy cooks on TV!!!

Personally, I like a good, hot chip right out of the oven to dip the guacamole with but it’s good on tacos or enchiladas or just about anything in the Mexican food category.  You can’t go wrong with this stuff.  I could eat my weight in it.  Of course, I wouldn’t touch it for years.  Looked icky.  Wrong.  Again.  🙂

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3 Responses to I’ll take a cup of quackamoly!

  1. I needed comfort this morning so I made granola.

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  2. dotter says:

    Mayo or miracle whip… to be real go without or use sour cream…seriously i live in California it makes me part hispanic. B-)

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  3. heartfelt says:

    I hear you, Queenie, about needing comfort food – especially this week!! Unfortunately, I’m not home all day, so the left over cookies and cider from “The Cinnamon Apple Cottage’s Home Sweet Home Days” that were sitting in the fridge at work called to me and unfortunately, I answered! I must try your recipe! The ‘quackamoly’ 🙂 looks delicious.

    Say, I remember that counter top! It’s exactly the same as ours!

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