From the real…to the so not real…and back again

Note: a PS resides HERE.

In the midst of all the busyness of the season, Big Boss took me to see The Desolation of Smaug.  In The Big City.  At the IMAX.  In the middle of the afternoon.

Thorin and the Key

No clue where this pic came from…

The only thing that would’ve made the situation more surreal would have been for us to buy a Big Bucket of popcorn.  We’re not that weird.  Or stupid.  Can you imagine?  $7.50 for popcorn.  Give me a break.

Besides…we had just stopped for a late lunch/early dinner at a great little Italian place and my dessert was a nice cup of coffee. Really GOOD coffee. They refilled it for me as we left and poured it into a take-out cup. Thus, I snuck my coffee into the theater.

Theater Lobby carpet

Ever notice how pretty theater lobby carpets are? My feet…waiting, while coffee is drunk and BB talks on phone.

Well, not really as I sat it down on the counter to pay our way in. Nobody called the cops or the picture show gestapo, so I paid for the tickets and found a comfy couch to drink my coffee in peace as we had a good 40 minutes before the next showing of the movie…while BB made feedlot calls.

Yep, this is the first part of the real part…

The nice thing about cell phones is that you can stay in touch constantly, leaving NO room for missed calls, busy signals or no phones to use.

The bad thing about cell phones is that you can stay in touch constantly, leaving NO room for missed calls, busy signals or no phones to use. Got it?

I visited the ladies’ room twice, not taking any chances that an emergency visit might arise during…oh I don’t know, the actual desolation of Smaug. Or during one of Thorin’s many majestic moments. Or chance missing Tauriel’s fight scenes.

I take these Hobbit movies seriously.

After it was all over but the shouting, I felt a bit disappointed. Too much fighting to suit this old lady. And lawzy, those orc creatures just get creepier and creepier.

The barrel scene went from exciting to incredulous as I watched Legolas jump..on one foot….from barrel to barrel, while shooting arrows and taking out 2 to 3 orcs at a time! His archery teacher must be proud…

Legolas

I did suspect that something funky was going on in the forest…that “looked sick”. Dead would be a better word. But then Bilbo climbs up to the top of the forest and everything is all leafy and beautiful and blue butterflies flutter around him. Hallucinogenics appear to have hit the dwarf crowd hard. But it’s all “pretty”!

Smaug was awesome. His voice was awesome. The gold was awesome. The gold scene almost became the “eagle scene” in AUJ..which in my opinion, made the entire first movie worth the ticket $$ and my time. But it didn’t quite come up to the magnificent eagle’s standards, IMHO. And besides, they lied.  The entire movie title is a bold-faced LIE.   Smaug  doesn’t get desolated.  Not even close.   To quote  a  teen  in the theater,  “You mean we have to  wait 2 more years?!!!” Why, NO, as a matter of fact, young man. You don’t have to wait but one year…but I get your dismay/aggravation/exasperation.

So, the final analysis was that TDoS moved faster and was more intense than AUJ..and was made for 15 year old boys and fantasy nerds. A friend and I discussed that and she also thinks that it might be that Mr. Jackson is aiming more for the foreign market than the US…and specifically, not aiming for old, grumpy grannies.

I watched TDoS the first time in IMAX 3D…the second time in just plain old everyday ordinary 2D…the 2D made it all better. Seriously. Lots and lots of reasons for that conclusion mainly that the 2D made it all more “real”…less CGI-ish/play game-ish.

I’m praying that the last movie will be up to The Return of the Kings standards, remembering that “Two Towers” really put me to sleep therefore I shouldn’t lose too much sleep over my disappointment with TDoS..it IS the middle movie after all.

Anyway…for the reality part…

Well, it is Dec. 28th and the last of the gift wrapping shreds are burning in the fireplace..also a few miscellaneous cookies and candies still lurk in the kitchen…but I ran across a Hobbit related piece today.

Tell me you wouldn’t want to live in this…

Hobbit House in PA

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4 Responses to From the real…to the so not real…and back again

  1. Pingback: From the real…to the so not real…and back again | RAFrenzy

  2. A beautiful cottage as long as Sam will do the gardening. 🙂

    Like

  3. purplepk says:

    I agree about the title. I kept expecting Smaug to be killed at the end of the movie. Since I saw it the first day of release I haven’t posted this question anywhere before now — why is the title “The Desolation of Smaug” when Smaug flies off at the end? I also prefer 2D. 3D would have really scared me.

    Like

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