You never know what you’ll find in my driveway!!!
You could find a Massey Ferguson 8670 or a stinky silage truck…that’s the most probable. (Have I mentioned how horrible an silage truck smells? Trust me on this one.) Or a manure spreader might show up. Not a pleasant smell there either. Or maybe a stock trailer headed out to a pasture. Cement trucks appear often. Then there’s the lost 18 wheelers, UPS trucks delivering veterinary medicines to the wrong spot, Schwann’s trucks, grandkids in Gators, front wheel loaders…. Or maybe nothing at all. *cough*
That’s when trouble can rear its humongous ugly head. Cause if I’m home and there is absolutely nothing in my driveway…WE have a problem, Houston! A. Big. Problem.
Normally I’m pretty easy to get along with, but when I go outside…say, I’m all dressed up and ready to go get my hair cut 40 miles away and have an appointment to get to in an hour…and… there’s NOTHING out in that driveway??? Somebody. Is. Going. To. Pay. Seriously.
Yeah, it’s happened. Several times. The excuses? They had to change oil in my truck and forgot to tell me. or…”so and so’s truck wouldn’t start, so I told them they could take yours but I promise they’ll bring it back tonight.” Or “so and so borrowed my truck cause they had to haul such and such so I just borrowed yours for an hour or so.”
WHAT?!!! Do I look like a car rental service? I need my wheels! Do not dump me out here in the country with NO way to travel!
None of those excuses are acceptable. Not when I’m ready to go and step outside to NOTHING!!!! Nothing. Hear the crickets chirping? Do the words and/or song “Call Me” ring a bell? Yes, I’m ranting. Sorry.
Where was I? Oh…my empty driveway. Actually, the above photo was our youngest child heading out to the fields this afternoon….who was swiping a Diet Dr. Pepper from my garage fridge. Ha!! (Not only do they steal my vehicles, they steal my Diet Dr. Peppers. Which I plant there to keep them out of my Diet Sprite. I get one a day and when they hit MY stash it gets SERIOUS fast!!) Yes I hide food and drink. I’m coming clean. This is my “Hi, I’m Deb and I hide food.” moment. If I didn’t, my Sprite would never hit my thirsty lips. They’d be bouncing around in SOMEBODY’S tractor/truck.
Ok, got that out the way…back to the tractor driver…
He’ll be spending quite a bit of time in this luxury vehicle for the next few months. Thankfully, today’s tractors are equipped with not only a radio, but CD players and some even have DVD players. And a GPS keeps the driver going in straight lines, which is a novelty around here. There used to be lots of jokes around town about Big Boss and his not-so-straight corn rows. But those are “alleged” jokes about “alleged” loopy tractor drivers. *cough*
Tomorrow, I could see a new car…preferably a ’67 baby blue Mustang convertible, in my driveway. But probably not. I’d be happy with a mower that actually runs. Just kidding but then, maybe not?!
Dearest Classmate who promised me my Mustang should he win the Lottery,
This. Is. It. The garage is clean. It’s empty. And ready to coddle this baby. Just so you know.
Sincerely, Still Waiting After All These Years